Sunday, April 19, 2015

a story about an Unpaid trainee teacher

Assalamualaikum world!!



It would be wonderful, if teaching is only about you guys 

Just have a little space for me to have this short update.

Currently am in my week 10 of being an unpaid trainee teacher
Yes am doing my teaching practice somewhere in Selangor.

So first of all,
First day before lapor diri, memang excited tu Ya Allah.. Finally dapat jugak rasa the real world of teaching..
And hari pertama lapor diri tu, kami dibenarkan balik awal sbb yelah dah jumpa dengan pentadbir and all, dan kami dapat sesi petang (yeayyy!! Boleh tido)

So esoknya datang ke sekolah macam biasa pkol 12,30 and pergi jumpa penyelia petang and got our timetable. So masa dapat timetable tu excited tau tak! Yelah nak jumpa dengan my very first students ever in my life!  Then I Masuk lah kelas yang first, masalah I kan I macam tak tahu heyy nak buat muka macam mana, ape yang I nak buat, I nak jadi teacher yang macam mana ni nak bagi students suka, I start la tringat balik zaman dedulu, cikgu jenis macam mana yang I nak jadi kan. And tiba lah masuk kelas yang first tu, ya Allah masa bebudak tu bagi salam, I rasa awkward sangattt yang tetibe I boleh tersenyum and buat muka sbb tak tahu nak react macam mana

So untuk first class ni I start dengan Ice breaking dulu and bagi I punya Rules which a typical rule kan. And I mmg first first tak bagi muka sangat kat diorang sbb hmm nak bagi dorang takut dulu kan..

Then go my 2nd day and 3rd days and then go my 4th week and yes. I managed to find myself, my own of being an ideal teacher. My students form 1 kecik lagi kottt, rasa mcm alahaiiii kecik lagi I nak marahmarah kan. So i just proceed macam biasa

Jadi cikgu ni what i can notice, I paling pantang bila plajar yang kurang pandai kenaa ejek dengan kengkawan dia! Yes because I was not born dengan iq yang tinggi kan. So I tahu ape these students would feel. Ade jugak students yang datang dekat I cakap tak minum air ais lagi hari ni, takde duit, and yes, I cried. I have learned a lot, a lot from my students..

Finally I managed to find myself as a teacher which I rasa comfortable lagi nak mengajar, and they like it. Memula tu what I did is, I asked my students to write things that they like and they dont like about me. And from that I improvise myself. I started to learn how to touch their soft part and build trust.

After  2 months, now, I gained their trust, and I started to love them, like seriously I love them. The feeling rasa lain. Rasa motivated nak pergi sekolah bila teringat budak budak tu. Tapi bila ingat kerja yang melambak as a teacher, yes jadi cikgu ni bukan about teaching je eh, bukan macam zaman dulu dulu,  cikgu sekarang keje kadang kadang  hari seminggu. Frankly, sejak jadi unpaid trainee teacher, I dont really have time for myself, kerja  6 hari seminggu. And am exhausted. And now I know how a teacher actually feels, we sacrifice our time, to educate the students, our future generation.
Kadang kadang saya mengeluh, kadang kadang rasa nak give up on teaching, tapi tahu tak, bila masuk kelas tengok muka the students, Allah, I feel so relieved, rasa lega rasa tersenyum sorang sorang. They are my theraphy. My happy pills. Rasa lega sangat, tak tahu macam mana nak describe.

Terima kasih, Alhamdulillah ya Allah kerana beri aku peluang untuk merasai RASA ini, merasai kasih sayang anak anak ini. Berada dalam dunia perguruan.

I have another 5 weeks to go before I could say goodbye to degree in Tesl


Next post : a letter to my students

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